How to Start a New Habit, pt. 2 (3 min. read)
Last month’s blog post was about how to choose a new habit to incorporate into your life (click here to read that). This post is about how to keep that habit in your life. After all, the purpose of a habit is to take you somewhere, to get you closer to your goals.
There are numerous ways to track habits and motivate yourself, but here’s a phrase I like to use with clients that provides a memory device: Raise the BARS. Each letter in BARS stands for a tactic to help you keep your habit going strong.
B - Boundaries
Boundaries can be used for different reasons in different contexts, so here is the best way to describe their use here - boundaries are the guard rails that help you stay on the road even if you fall asleep at the wheel. To carry the analogy further, your willpower is like your ability to drive the car. We all possess some degree of willpower, but the question is how long that will last. When it runs out, you need something to keep you going.
Boundaries involve making a decision before your willpower runs out that will help you when it does run out. An example - if you struggle with eating unhealthy snacks, you don’t want to rely on your willpower at 10pm when you have a pile of junk food in your pantry. You make the decision earlier on (when willpower is stronger) to not even buy junk food so that you don’t have to fight that battle in the moment. Another example - if you struggle getting up in the morning, don’t trust your morning self to make that decision. Put your phone or alarm clock a few feet away from your bed so you have to get up to turn it off.
Boundaries don’t guarantee success, but they greatly increase your chances of it!
A - Accountability
Ever notice that you make an effort to show up at work or meet a friend for coffee, but then completely blow off a promise you made to yourself? Humans are social creatures, and we really don’t like disappointing others. Use this to your advantage! If you are starting a new habit, get someone else involved. Bonus points if they are trying to start a habit too, so you can also check in on them, and even better if they share the same goals as you - you can work on them together.
Let’s get practical. If you want to read 10 minutes a day, ask a friend to reach out to you a few times this week to check in. Knowing that you will get that text or call will give you extra motivation when you would rather skip a day. To take it a step further, raise the stakes. Maybe you have a friend who’s trying to work something new in their own life, and you make a friendly wager. Whoever meets their goal, or keeps it going longest, buys lunch. The possibilities are endless as you navigate different habits with different levels of accountability.
R - Rewards
This one is similar to accountability, but you can do it by yourself. The idea is as simple as it sounds. Think of a way to treat yourself when you keep to your habit schedule. Maybe you’ve been thinking about getting a new pair of shoes or a new [fill in the blank]. Use that as personal leverage and commit to only indulging if you meet your goal. Yes, this takes some willpower, but you can always pair it with the first two tactics to increase your chances.
Some might say “Well then am I really doing it for the right reasons?” Yes. Ultimately, you want to get something done and you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. Good job!
S - Self Care
Self Care might seem unrelated to accomplishing habits, but I see it as a foundation to real personal growth. If you are struggling to stay consistent in your habits, think about how you can take better care of yourself in other areas of your life. Are you getting enough sleep? Do you get exercise and fresh air? Does your food give energy back to you or just take up space in your body? (Check out Dr. Caroline Leaf’s resources for how food influences your brain)
When your body is operating at its best, you will be more likely to stick to your habits. You’ll have more energy, motivation, and mental clarity. Don’t get overwhelmed by all the ways you could improve your self care - every little bit helps. And if self care feels like a new habit in and of itself, refer to the first 3 steps!
Our daily choices determine who we are becoming. Habits are choices that either take us closer or further away from the person we want to be. So go out there and make it happen!
Written by Nicholas Hunter, MA, LPC.
Photo by Lindsay Henwood on Unsplash